The flu was going around my school in February, and many were down for the count, including me.  A 104.4 degree temperature had me at the doctor, where I tested positive for Type A and Type B flu.  My cough was constant, as was my general feeling of malaise.

I wasn’t getting better, even with Tamiflu, and I went back to the doctor.  Turns out I had a side of pneumonia with my double flu, so antibiotic, steroids, and an inhaler were prescribed.  Missing almost 2 weeks of school, I was miserable.

On February 28th, a day that has never been a lucky day for my family, I received a lengthy Explanation of Benefits for Zachary.  There were sheets of doctor visits, and the progression of the entries left me paralyzed with worry.  From the many physician appointments, another CT Scan of his breast, bloodwork (including pathology and toxicology), and a procedure/surgery, my mind went to a dark and terrifying place.  I just prayed and prayed that my son would be okay, highlighting that his health was all that mattered and that even if it meant I would never be in his life, I only wanted him to be healthy.

This past Thursday, Jay wrote me a lengthy note in which he shared that Zachary was having trouble with the insurance company.  He told me that he knows that Zack’s health is of the utmost importance to me, and that Zack had been to many doctors, along with the Emergency Room, for headaches and fatigue. What Jay didn’t mention was the CT Scan of the breast or anything about Zack’s health throughout the 4 years since Zack walked out of my life.  Per our divorce agreement, Zack was supposed to keep me informed.  After all, I held up my end of the agreement and kept Zack insured.

It turns out that Zachary had Epstein-Barr and another virus that was similar to herpes.  Relieved doesn’t come close to describing how I felt, as I had been thinking the worst since February 28th.  I’m not sure why he had the CT Scan of his breast; I’ll assume all was okay with that, just as I had to do with the CT Scan he had three years ago.

Jay’s note explained that Horizon needed to know (from the primary insurance holder) if Zack or I had any other insurance.  Apparently, the doctors were telling Zachary that the claims weren’t paid, as the Coordination of Benefits needed to be updated.  Jay told me that obviously I would need to call, and he wrote that he and Zack really appreciate my taking care of this.

It baffles me why my 25-year-old son couldn’t reach out to me himself.  Zack and I were so close, and, per a colleague at school, “I don’t think any mom ever loved her son more.”  Jay reached out, but it wasn’t to inform me.  It was merely because he needed something from me.  The thought that he would have to pay those balances was terrifying to him, and I’m sure that he told all of the family that he wrote me such a gracious letter as he continued to keep me updated on Zachary’s health.  That’s what sociopaths do. They lie, they manipulate, and they project.

I made the phone call.  The claims are being adjusted.

The father of one of the Sandy Hook children committed suicide today.  They say you never really get over the loss of a child.  How about the loss of three?