The word gathering offers multiple uses, with the root of them all involving some sort of meeting or assembly.  Whether talking about a family celebration or simply a disciplined collection of thoughts, a gathering is the literal or figurative place where “stuff” happens.

I learned last night from a dear friend that my mother was diagnosed with Chronic Leukemia.  Some internet searching told me that, while not ideal or glamorous, one can live quite a while with the disease and even be asymptomatic.  May my mother be one of those people.

My mother has lived a full life.  She has seen and experienced joy that I will never see.  From the moment my oldest, her first grandchild, arrived just about 30 years ago, my mother rejoiced in all of the magic that comes with being a grandmother.  An active and welcomed participant in my kids’ lives, my mother’s favorite role was grandma to my 3 kids and my sister’s 2 kids.  The Fab Five were flawless in her eyes.

My ex-husband and my mother didn’t always see eye to eye, and Jay’s happiest moments were when he could slam me in front of my mother and my sister.  Their dismay at his not-so-subtle verbal abuse caused significant problems for me, as more than once I would have to beg him to agree to see them again.  His narcissism was only exceeded by my pathos.

Now, they all break bread together, without me.

I was hoping that once I got divorced I would get to spend lots of time with my mom.  She and I shared a similar sense of humor and a matching energy.  Whereas my sister was always hard on my mom, I was the one offering her endless mulligans. After all, she was my mom, and, in my book, that comes with unconditional love.

Make no mistake about it – Barbara Starsky was flawed and could often be selfish.  But, this Elizabeth Taylor lookalike could also be so fiercely charming and generous.  Brilliant beyond description and comprehension, she, like I, spent her life camouflaging her demons.  To this day, neither of us fully knows the other’s story.

My mother has seen college graduations of her grandchildren, weddings of her grandchildren, and the birth of at least one great-grandchild.  Her life, which will hopefully continue for a decade or longer, has rewarded her with countless blessings.  I’m only sorry she didn’t consider me one of those blessings.

I wish my mother well and Godspeed as she faces this challenge.